Musings on sewing

I'm trying to resolve to updating more often, and having reasons to update.

I try to do something creative every day, or at least a few times a week. I've really found that knitting works really well for me. I'm moderately good at it, it's a nice use of time at home while watching TV, or riding the subway to & from work. Plus, at the end there's something to wear or give to a friend. I've only been knitting for about a year, and I've seen my skill levels improve over time, probably due to the fact that I tend to knit a lot, or moderately often. Even if stuff ends up getting frogged, it's practice. I wouldn't say my knitting is totally perfect & beautiful, but I'm pretty happy with how it turns out in general.

And then there's sewing.

Since about the age of 9, I wanted to be a fashion designer. I loved flipping through the pages of Vogue and Elle. I watched Style with Elsa Klensch religiously. I loved clothing, and how it fit on people. I applied to Moore College of Art & Design in Philadelphia, and was accepted. However, my parents were not willing to pay for college, nor allow me to move away. I went instead to one of my other college choices, the University of Maryland. I took the introductory textile classes and pattern-making classes. By my second year in the program, I was totally disillusioned. Not only was UM canceling my major & department, but the entire college that included about 10 different majors. To further antagonize the matter, my sewing & pattern classes really were not up to par with my expectations. The teachers didn't really care about fashion—they all seemed like they were straight out of local fabric store home-sewing classes than a college-level design class. I got snide remarks on designs, choices of notions, fabrics, and colors. To me, fashion is an art form—it's objective. You don't have to like everything, but to tell someone that they CAN'T use a sport zipper on evening wear? Who says so? Why not?!

With all these factors, I quit the program and changed my major to an utterly useless degree, but at least it made me appreciate being in college.

However, with the lack of sewing over the years, my skills devolved to about the level of a 6-year-old. Fast forward to now. I do a lot of tiny projects that don't take a lot of skill, but I'm just so frustrated. When I attempt larger projects with more than 3 seams, everything goes to crap. I know I can get better with time, but when I get so angry and upset at a project, it's not exactly encouraging.

To wit: I started working on a western shirt a few weeks ago. I cut the pieces out. No problem. I sewed the side seams, darks, button placket, and yokes together. Fine. The I took the collar band & collar, put interfacing on them, and assembled them. Ok so far. Then I had to sew the collar to the shirt. I attempted this three times, and every attempt was full of fail. The collar was a good inch too short for the neck. WHAT. I know I cut everything out correctly, and my seams were not really so far off that the collar couldn't fit. At this point, I just want to cry, and I feel like a total failure. My choices are to either take everything apart and re-sew all the seams, or burn it. I'm kind of leaning toward the latter.

I have a huge pile of vintage & modern sewing patterns I've been amassing from ebay and online vendor sales. I want to get around to making them without breaking down in tears. I want to make my own clothes, instead of buying cheap, manufactured-in-sweatshop clothing that falls apart after the third washing. I want to have things that are more tailored to my own personal style and tastes. But I just keep hitting this wall because I think I absolutely suck.

Another cause of frustration is my sewing machine. I just wanted a simple, inexpensive machine, since I know I don't sew very much. I got the Kenmore Mini, which I think cost me all of $67. It's cute and functional, but aside from straight stitches, it's kind of crap (especially after using a higher-end Bernina to take some sewing classes at the local fabric store). The presser foot is too heavy and stretches out any knit fabric or elastic I attempt to sew. I can't set the stitch length (it has about 5 pre-set stitches), so even the "basting" stitches are too tiny. And it jams at the drop of a hat. I would really love to get the same sewing machine I got for my mom's birthday last year (the Brother ES2000). The reviews for it are phenomenal, and it's under $200. For comparison, the Bernina I want is almost $1000.

Now the guilt-trip over deciding if I should get another machine. I know I sew better with a nicer machine—the clothing items I made in class came out fairly well, and I had a much easier time of things. The clothes I make at home make me cry. If I had a better machine, it would encourage me to sew more, which would allow me to get better skills. I just have a hard time making that leap. It's absolutely ridiculous the things on which I can drop $150 without batting an eye, but for something that might actually prove to be useful and beneficial to me, I get all wishy-washy. Dumb.

I think I am going to find a way to get an extra $150 in near future, and just get it. Part of my new plan of re-prioritizing expenditures. I'm going to get rid of stuff that is superfluous, and be a lot more frugal with money. I do think I'll wait until after Mercury retrograde to buy any kind of new machinery, though. ;)